Great Legs

So, the Pepsi Ice Cucumber soda has arrived in Japan. The drink has been flying off shelves since its debut several weeks ago. The drink is a mint-colored soda meant to keep Japanese cool during the hot and steamy summer.

The Japanese Elegant Wine Society(JEWS) has issued its reviews of the beverage. The reviewers were all highly qualified with advanced degrees in cucumber growing and soda/wine making.

The first reviewer is Carlos Kutz of the Deluxe College of Importantness and Luxury in Beverages. His tasting was blind. He was not able to see the Pepsi Ice Cucumber bottle or the maker. And his sample was poured into a blue plastic Winnie the Pooh glass.

His review is as follows:

With a core of blackberry and black cherry fruit that is fully ripe but still bright and not at all chunky and sweet (as is distressingly true of many sodas from Japan), this is a winner even before you get to the accent notes of tobacco leaf, cedar, spices, and graphite.

Sampling the nose

Swishing

Rejecting, but requesting more five minutes later
and having a complete tantrum when a refill is declined by the committee.

The second reviewer is Dr. David Kutz, of the Kutz School of Refinement and Fancifulness in Libations

His review is as follows:
Even though it's tightly wound, a lemony creaminess combined with minerality comes through, initially on the nose, but then also on the palate and finish. Well focused, this wine should develop well for a decade or more.In other words, he thought it was rather bland.

Excellent nose.

Gurgling the green liquid in his throat, letting it splash the tongue.

Deciding that it has no taste, either offensive or pleasant.

And the final reviewer is Jennifer Anne Ramo, Esq. of the Academy of Luxury Liquid and Fancification.

Her review is as follows:

Nasty. If Pier One made a cucumber scented candle soda, this is what it would taste like. Mix some Dawn dishwashing liquid, mouthwash, and soda water and you have Pepsi Ice Cucumber Soda. Just the fact that it is green is troublesome. I would not give this to my dog... who is dead...It is that bad.

Checking the legs

Swishing on the tongue

Trying not to throw up

All in all, the reviews were not so positive. Carlos only liked it because it was time to go to bed and he thought that asking for something, anything, might delay his bath.